Friday, September 26, 2008

Crap... I'm Caught

Posted Friday, July 18, 2008 11:20 AM
I started a new birth control pill at the end of May. It's the type with a cycle reduces periods to four times per year.
Now, normally I don't like this type of thing for 2 reasons:
1. Your supposed to have your period. It's nature. So what's this pill doing to my body to stop it from happening? Can it be as safe as they say? I worry about stuff like that.
2. As much of a joy as it would be to be to only have 4 periods a year instead of 12, how do I know if I'm pregnant? I could be three months along and not even have an inkling. This would be bad for several reasons including the fact that I smoke currently (although I do have plans to quit) and would continue to smoke/ drink etc. not realizing I was pregnant and I would continue to take the pill. Not so safe for baby.
But, I had a lot of plans this summer and the all seemed to be right when I should have had my period so a friend suggested the pill she was taking so that I could enjoy my vacations etc. period free. So I decided, just for this summer (I know, not so good) and went to my doc for a perscription.
Well, for the last month my boobs have been so tender and sore, I'm crampy, I sooooo tired, I get waves of nausea, I'm eating like a man and I'm a little nervous that all these things point to pregnancy. I didn't get my last period, but I didn't expect to because of this pill. So I talked to DH last night and said "look, it's probably the new pill that's doing all of this to my body, but I want to be sure. If there is the smallest chance I could be pregnant I want to know so that I can stop taking the pill, stop smoking and start taking care of myself/the baby". We figured out possible conception times and decided it would be best to be safe and go buy a pregancy test.
So, I popped out of work this morning for 15 minutes to go to the drug store and purchase one. I have it in my hand as I'm walking towards the cash registers and I hear "oh... your Lori's daughter Ashley right?" I turn, totally forgetting tha tI have a HPT in my hand and say "that's me". It's one of my mum's clients, who's she's had for YEARS and it turns out that she is going to see my mum today! She's asks me if I have lost weight and she looks me up and down and in the process spies the test. Her eyes lock on it just for a second, but enough for me to know that she has seen it. It gets all tense and akward and then I say "okay...well have a good day, I have to get back to work". My face is BRIGHT red as I slink away.
Now I'm totally freaked she is going to tell my mom. She seems like one of those woman who will be salivating to spread the news. I can just hear it "I ran in to Ashley today at Shoppers. So.... have you heard the results? Is she pregnant?" or something like that. Not that I don't want my mom to know if I am pregnant, but I WANT TO TELL HER. And if I am not pregnant, then nobody but me and DH (and you ladies) need to know that there was a question abou it. Why talk about something that turned out to be nothing right?
Anyways, I guess only time will tell. I'm sure I will be hearing from my mom tonight

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