Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Boo for Wednesdays and Long Weeks

I’m so happy that spring (and a little bit of summer) are finally here. I took the afternoon off work on Friday, left my office at 12, and hung-out in my backyard reading. It was 25 degress C (about 80 F) and beautifully sunny! I got my first sun burn of the year though and now have a lovely farmers tan on my left arm, made worse by the fact that it gets all the sun while I’m driving. When H was done work, we went out to the rail-trail for a walk with the dog and then he took me out for dinner! It was really good, but I ate waaaaaay too much because we went to a buffet. NOT good for the healthy lifestyle of a “recovered” compulsive eater!!! Smile

Saturday and Sunday were spent going through the storage bins in our basement and spare room as well as what’s left at my Mom’s house, in preparation for our garage sale this Saturday. I was pleasantly surprised with the amount of quality stuff that we have to sell. We have lots of books (which it almost kills me to part with), furniture, games, movies, electronics including an amazing 51” Toshiba television, kitchen stuff etc. Everything is like new, and some of it IS new as it’s wedding presents that we’ve never even opened. I think it’s safe to sell it since we were married almost 3 years ago now.

We had a wicked storm on Saturday afternoon. I’m a storm fanatic so when I heard the thunder I immediately jumped up from my sorting mess, apologized to H, ran around and shut all the windows and then went out to my front porch to watch. The lightening was amazing and basically right over my house so it was gorgeous to watch. But… the rain suddenly started falling “horizontally” and the wind picked up out of nowhere (strong enough that my trees in the front yard were basically folded in half) and I got a little nervous since it’s technically Tornado season in my town. We haven’t had a major one since the year I was born, but that one cleared one whole side of the town and killed 12 people, so some of the residents get nervous every time a storm rolls through in the spring. I ran in to check the weather network for Tornado warnings, but of course, the satellite was down, so I just had to keep an eye on it. I was pretty tense for a little bit. Luckily, it died down within about 10 minutes. I love storms…. There’s just something about them that fascinates me. H says I should have been a weatherman for a living.

I got a quote from Home Depot to do our roof this spring and it was over $1000 more than the first quote we got! I just about choked when I opened it up, especially since they both quoted us for the same materials. I think we’ll go with the cheaper guy since a) it will save us $$ and b) he’s very reputable around town. We’re also having a lawn care company come and do 6 different (natural) treatments on our lawn so I can catch up with it. The previous owners didn’t take care of it at all so I need the pros to come and get it under control and then I can maintain it. That’s another 300 bucks, but I guess it’s part of owning a home.

This week is pretty quiet… I’m doing last minute garage sale prep and getting ready for vacation. It’s been a lonnnnnng week so far. I can’t believe it’s only Wednesday.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Cheating is ok as long as it's worth it, right?

Clearly I'm kidding. Although, with the amount of money this man makes, my husband may even encourage me to flirt a little!

So here's the story. Last night, I'm not in the door 5 minutes (my dog hadn't even settled down yet) when the phone rings. It's my BIL "R". I can immediately tell from his voice that something is wrong. He sounds panicked and out of breath and sort of like he's on the verge of tears. When I tell him my husband isn't home he says "ok, can you just talk to me for a minute? I think I'm having a heart attack". I don't panic right way and I know that sounds bad but you have to understand his history. To make a long story short, he's a cocaine addict. He's currently "recovering" but he's been in "recovery" (and in and out of jail) on and off for about 8 years, so you never really know with him. I don't panic because I've heard this all before and he does it to get attention. I think he has anxiety attacks which scare him and he overreacts. 15 + years of hard core drugs tend to make people slightly paranoid. So I talk him down, tell him to take deep breaths and that he's alright and then ask him where he is. He tells me he's DRIVING himself to the hospital. I tell him to pull over somwhere and I will come and get him, but he insists that I just meet him at the hospital. He thinks he's dying.

So, I call DH and work, tell him what's happening and then I'm jump in the car and drive over to the hospital. By the time I park and get in, R is already with the triage nurse because they don't screw around with chest pains so he moved to the front of the line. They put him in a wheel chair and ask me to wheel him in to the ER. His sister (my SIL "T", whom I harbor a borderline hatred for sometimes) arrives. Freaking out as usual because she's a drama queen and LOVE any excuse to cry "crisis in my life" and get attention. It was all my power not to punch her most of the night because this is not new, this happens all the time, we all have to learn to stop freaking out everytime R calls.

They do blood work, urine tests and x-rays and everything comes up clean... he's not having a heart attack, he's totally healthy. The doctor suggested that it was heartburn since R (and T) suffers from chronic acid reflux and is on medication for it. I was tempted to ask if there were any illegal drugs in his system, but then I thought "and if there are? what can you do about it? You haven't been able to stop it up to now". Both R and T will take the smallest excuse to go to the hospital, then call everyone in the family to rush to their bedside (normally I just ignore them). T has been in emerge 4 time in the last 6 weeks, twice because her period was really heavy! The docs and nurses are familiar with them. Grrrrr.

So, back to the cheating if it's worth it thing. This whole process takes 3 hours in emergency because once they realized he was fine, he dropped to the bottom of the emergency priority list. I'm sitting beside his bed, feeling pissed because my night is now screwed and R and T are now sitting talking and joking, clearly fine, and the most GORGEOUS doctor walks past the curtain and gives me this heart stopping sideways smile. I mean, this man was a perfect human specimen. Tall, dark, handsome, tanned, gorgeous white teeth, awesome 'messy in a good way" hair, great body, GREAT behind.... just basically beautiful. I was stunned at his perfection and couldn't help but saying to T "um.... did you just see Mr perfect doctor man walk by?" To which she giggled and said "yes, he's helped me a couple times". I immediately though of McSteamy and McDreamy from Greys and then realized that those names failed to do justice to this man, and I would have to come up with my own clever nick name for him until I found out who he really was. What was that clever nickname you ask "Mr Perfect Doctor Man"... okay, not my most creative, but I was stunned into momentary shock by his beauty!

I spent the next 2 hours "nonchelantly" staring at this gorgeous man as he went about saving lives. I was trying to come up with a way to "faint" as he walked by in hopes that he would catch me. I knew I was in trouble when I caught my self justifying cheating on my H because "his gorgeous, rich and saves babies... it would be worth it! Surly H would understand" So, I was definatly stary eyed over this man and I'm pretty sure he noticed too because when he came in at the end of the visit to discharge R, he winked at me! I just about hit the floor and my heart shot up to my mouth. Remember my post about my uncontrollable blushing?? Yeah, well I turned about 300 shades of red.

Needless to say it made the 3 hour wait with the two of my least favorite people in the world, MUCH more tolerable and dare I say, almost enjoyable?!? In my next life, I've decided going to be super shallow and marry for looks and money alone! Hopefully, this guy will be around in that same life!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

holy crap, holy crap... HOLY CRAP!

I went shopping on my lunch (I have no summer clothes) and I bought SIZE 9 shorts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not in the double digits anymore and it's friggin' crazy. I haven't been in the single digits since mid-elementary school. Even my grade 8 grad dress was a size 12 and that was after losing 45lbs in the 6 months leading up to it.

This is huge for me! I've never felt better about my body than I do right now. Keep in mind my wedding dress was a size 18 and I never thought I'd get to where I am right now. I never ever thought that I would be proud of my body.

This is a strange feeling. Good, but strange.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

We're so... chill!

I had a good weekend. The weather was awesome (especially Saturday) and it was quiet.
I finally took DH out for his b-day dinner Friday night. I tell the guy he can go wherever he wants (and we have some awesome restaurants in this city) and he picks Montana’s. Oh well, it was his choice and the food was really good. Just not as “romantic” as I would have liked.

The drive-in opened for the season this weekend so we went on Friday night and saw Monsters vs. Aliens and I Love You Man. Both were very good, but ILYM was hilarious. The drive-in is the best because we can take the dog and hang out in our jammies. This time of year is nice too because the bugs haven’t come out yet and it’s nice a cool.

Saturday was awesome too. I slept in and read in bed, DH went to play tennis with his Dad, then I puttered around the yard. I didn’t really get much accomplished, but it was so nice to be outside with my pup. We went grocery shopping, bbq’d pork skewers for dinner and watched our PVR’d shows from the week (CSI was super weird). Very chill… very relaxing.
Yesterday we went for a long, completely unplanned drive in the country after getting hot dogs from the vendor outside the mall for lunch. We’d come up to an intersection and I would just make DH choose a direction. We ended up going down this dirt road that got narrower and narrower as we went. I started getting nervous because I realized that the road was so narrow it was going to be very difficult to turn around and I starting seeing HUNTING signs. I finally found a little opening where I could turn the car around and make a break for it out of the woods… after bottoming out a couple of times. DH was laughing the whole time because I was so nervous. After the drive DH read outside while I had a nap in bed (I attempted to read, but I didn’t even get through a page). I didn’t want the weekend to be over. I love the quiet slow pace of weekend like that.

We’re down to less than 3 weeks until we take off for Florida and I’m getting really excited, but as always, stressed about money. We won’t have much spending money, so I’m thinking that we’ll just hang out at the resort most of the time (7 pools, 7 hot tubs, 13 tennis courts, mini golf, basketball and a full gym should keep us busy). We will of course, be doing Magic Kingdom at Disney World one day.

On a REALLY positive note, DH has quit smoking. He’s been smoke free for over a week now, cold turkey, no cutting down, no patch… nothing. He just stopped. I’m really proud of him. He’s doing great with it too and will still come outside and sit with me while I smoke. He’s said he’s not craving them at all and said he notices that everything smells and tastes different already. It makes me even more motivated to quit myself. We’ll see.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Sleepless in.... Barrie!

I could NOT sleep last night. I went to bed early (9:15) to read and was out before my husband came to bed. This, however, did not last. I was awake every hour or so and noticed that my throat and chest got progressively worse each time. The cold has moved from my head, down into my chest and it’s disgusting. I was tossing and turning, couldn’t get comfortable, couldn’t breathe properly (I feel like I have to concentrate on breathing in and out) and my whole body was aching. I eventually curled up in a little ball at the bottom of the bed because my dog was lying across my pillow and my husband was sleeping in the middle of the bed. I was just not in the mood to accommodate their comfort by contorting my body anymore and I didn’t have the strength to wake either of them up or to move them. So… the fetal position was the only thing that worked. Luckily, I didn’t get a kick to the head from my husband. I think I would have lost it at that point.

As I lay in a little ball at the bottom of my bed, I told myself that if I woke up one more time I would move the spare bedroom so at least I would only have my sickness to contend with an my husband and dog wouldn’t bother me anymore. Thankfully, that seemed to do the trick and I didn’t wake up again until my husband was kissing me goodbye at 5:50am (for which I could have punched him, but then realized he does it every morning and normally I don’t wake up, so it’s not his fault). At that point, I moved the dog to his side and got comfortable again. I knew that calling in sick wasn’t an option since a) I don’t get paid sick days and b) I took a sick day last month when I had my last cold. I didn’t think my boss would appreciate it. I’m kind of hoping someone will notice my coughing and puffy eyes and send me home!

We’re supposed to go to my MIL’s for dinner tonight (belated b-day dinner for my husband) and I’m hoping and praying that it’s just us so that I can go in my track pants and lay on the couch. Chances are, however, that there will be a lot of people there. If that’s the case, I may skip it and stay home. My husband already suggested that so I know he won’t mind. MIL may be pissed, but I don’t really care at this point. I’m so tired and I feel really crappy.

I’m going to go for a walk on my lunch since it’s absolutely beautiful outside today and the fresh air may make me feel better. I can’t believe it’s only 10:15 am…. Will this day never end?

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I feel like a bobble head doll....

Are ya kidding me? I’m sick AGAIN! I just, and I mean just, stopped sniffling from my last cold. Then yesterday I woke up with a dry patch in my throat and pressure in my head. I was in denial all day… “It’s not a cold, you just got over one… you’re NOT sick” but by the end of the day yesterday my head felt like it weighed about 3000 pounds and I was sniffling like a little kid. FRIG! When I get sick I’m usually sick for weeks. Ever after I feel better; the sniffles stick around for a long time. That’s why I’m lucky that I don’t get sick very often….or should I say I never used to get sick all that often. WTF? Oh well.. at least my vacation is more than 3 weeks away, so I’m sure I’ll have kicked it by then.

Speaking of vacation, I’m super excited. We’re heading to Kissimmee with my Mum, sister and nephew. We weren’t going to go because I really wanted us to take a trip alone, but when my mom told me she got the condo from a friend at no charge and we could cook for ourselves, it was hard to say no to. Doesn’t get much cheaper than that!!! The resort has 7 pools, 7 hot tubs, 13 tennis courts, mini- golf etc. I’m so excited to lounge for a week. Unfortunately, AF will be joining me about halfway through, but I guess there’s not much I can do about that. I think we’re going to go to Disney World (just magic kingdom) one day, and we’re definitely driving to the beach one day as well because in all the times I’ve been to Florida as a kid (my grandparents live there in the winter) I’ve never swam in the ocean. The beaches were always closed when I was there due to a storm or something.

I must book the flights today! I’ve been keeping an eye out for a deal, but the prices aren’t really changing so I just need to do it! I’m a planner, so not knowing the flight details is stressing me a little. What is with all the American airlines charging for bags? At least with the Canadian airlines you get one bag included in the price of your ticket! Too bad I can’t get a flight at the right times with any of the Canadian airlines. Bub wanted to bring his golf clubs, but its $15 bucks for each passenger’s first bag and $25 for the second! That’s crazy! It will be cheaper for him to rent clubs when we get there.

I’m meeting a friend for lunch today and am looking forward to it. I can’t sit in the office all day anymore because I go out of my mind with boredom! I’m craving chicken Caesar salad in a bad way so I must convince her to take me somewhere that I can get a BIG one!

Monday, April 13, 2009

What is with this time of year? (+ a b-day weekend recap)

The weekend was good. Brunch and dinner of Friday were great, breakfast was good on Saturday, but DH got drunk with his Dad on Saturday afternoon at a local sports bar so we forfeited his b-day dinner and just ordered pizza before everyone arrived for his b-day party that night. We had a good # of people show up and I had a really good time, but I’m always embarrassed the next day when I think about how drunk I was the night before. This time I really didn’t do anything to be embarrassed about, but still, I’m sure I looked a little crazy. We went downtown at about 11:30 and luckily didn’t hit a line to get into the bar so I got a good couple hours of drinks and dancing in down there. Yesterday we literally laid around all day. I had to stay in bed until the “bodies” got up and made their way home (we had 4 people back at our house to crash and they were sleeping randomly around the house). Then I migrated to the couch and spent most of the day watching the Masters golf tournament while drifting in and out of sleep. As lovely as this sounds, I HATE days like that. I felt disgusting and it felt like a waste, but I had no energy for anything else. We had Taco Bell for lunch and Subway for dinner…. I wasn’t cooking anything.

I feel strange lately. I get like this from time to time (and it’s usually around this time of year) where I’m just feeling “down”. I was going through my blog posts and I have a “I’m feeling depressed” post from right around this time last year. It’s strange, but it’s just me I guess.

I have no desire to be close to my husband right now. I don’t want him to touch me, I don’t want to cuddle, I don’t want to kiss… I just want to be alone. We’re fighting constantly because I’m not being very nice. I think he senses that something is wrong, but he’s not a talker so he’s just dealing with it the only way he knows how, which is by trying to be close to me, but that’s just making it worse for me. I feel terrible for him because he has the biggest heart and is so sensitive, but for some reason I just can’t bring myself to be nice to him. It was a strain all day Saturday to be patient and nice with him on his birthday (although I did manage). I feel like a terrible wife but I think what I need is a break. I need to go away for a night or two alone (no friends or family) and just regroup. Too bad I’m too broke for that.

I can’t find joy in anything I do right now. I haven’t read a book from cover to cover almost 2 months (if you knew me, you’d know this is REALLY strange). I keep picking one up, reading a couple pages and then putting it down. I can’t get into anything. Every night after dinner I go to bed and watch TV. I don’t want to go anywhere or do anything. I'm eating pretty crappy and not exercising. I haven't run in weeks and my gym membership expired so I haven't been swimming either. I just want to be alone. I’m hoping this passes soon. For my husband’s sake, as well as my own, I don’t want to deal with this for long. I hate feeling like a slug all the time.

I’ve decided to try to pull myself out of it tonight. DH and I are going to go for a walk out in the country, we’re going to bbq for dinner and I’m picking up the new book by my fav author, so hopefully that will pull me out of my slump. Fingers crossed that DH and I can weather this storm and come out of it in one piece.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Proudly Canadian

*pasted from my Nest blog... don't mind the references the "this board" etc.*

I know that we Canadian's are the minority on this board... and I've actually learned a lot about the US in reading everyone's blogs. I've even added to my travel wish list- meaning I've heard some things about certain places that I have now decided that I need to see.

Alternatively, there are a few things that I have picked up on that make me happy to be a Canadian, and I wanted to point out the main two!

*this is not a USA bashing post. I think the States are pretty great... this is just a couple reasons why I think Canada is pretty great too!*

Maternity Leave: in Canada parental leave is 12 months! It's job guarenteed leave at 55% your pay through the government (EI). That's one whole year to get heal yourself and spend with your baby. I won't have to worry about pumping at work or leaving my baby with a "stranger" at just weeks old and to me, this is SUCH a blessing. I've seen several girls on here really stuggle with going back to work when their children are sooooo tiny and young and I'm so happy that I won' thave to worry about that. Additionally, if you don't want the full 12 months, you can transfer the balance (or a portion of it) to your spouse. A lot of people choose to do this- example: Mum takes the first half and Dad takes the second. For some people 12 months would be far too long, and I understand that (my boss is one of them, she's only taking 4 months) but it's soooooooooooooooo nice to have the option, should you choose to take the time off.

I work for a US company and we two offices in California. I believe the mat-leave there is only 90 days and I've heard some states are as little as 3-6 weeks! Really.. at that point, some woman's bodies aren't even healed (i.e. c-sections etc). I can't imagine the anguish some people feel dropping their newborn off at day care just 3 weeks after giving birth.

I'm just so happy that it's not something I will ever have to worry about.

Healthcare: If I get sick, need an operation, major disease treatment, a cast, give birth, slice a finger off, need a CT Scan... I don't have to worry about how I am going to pay for it. Basic healthcare is free! And it's great healthcare (contrary to popular belief).

I don' thave to think "well, I've been feeling pretty crappy for a week and should probably go see my doctor, but I just can't afford it right now". All you have to do it show your OHIP card (in Ontario) and it's covered. There's no paperwork to sign, no claims to submit... it's just covered. It wasn't until my teens that I realized that the whole world was not like this and I remember being shocked.

We stil have to pay for perscriptions, eye care (after 18) and dental (+ plastic or elective surgeries) for which I use my health plan at work. But, anything that is necessary health wise and you just don' thave to worry.

I can't imagine the strain that some people/families feel when they lose their job or hit hard times and someone they love is sick and they can't afford to take care of them properly. You hear these awful stories of families of terminally ill patients losing their homes and going bankrupt to pay medical bills. So scary!

I'm sure there are things that the US outshines Canada in, I don't deny that at all, but these two truly Canadian things are things that I will be forever grateful for and NEVER take for granted.

Take your mark... get set.... GO!

And I'm off. Well, not quite yet, but this weekend is going to be go go go. Thank god tomorrow is a holiday in Canada.

-Easter brunch at my Mum's
-Clean house, organize basement and garage
-Easter dinner at my FIL's

-Brunch w/ MIL for Easter and DH's birthday
-Shopping/running around for DH's party
-Take DH out for dinner, his choice
-20-25 people over for DH's birthday and then out to the bar to go dancing at around 11pm.

-Clean-up from party (probably while nursing a hang-over)
-We were invited to my Aunt's for dinner, but I apologetically declined. I'll need a break
-VEG and eat left over cake.. prob still nursing a headache

I'm a little nervous about having so many people over at our place before we go out on Saturday night. 25 people is a lot in my 1100 sq ft house. I'm not worred about mess or anything, it's my neighbours. They came over and (nicely) complained the first time we had a party and it was about 1/2 the people. I'm hoping that if we ask people to smoke in the garage, rather than the backyard (our back deck is basically under their bedroom window because of the way the houses are staggered) that we might be ok. I may just tell them if I see them that we are having a party but going out to the bar so by 11 or 11:30 we'll all be gone.

It's going to be an interesting mix of friends on Saturday night too. You know how you sometimes feel that your worlds collide? I have highschool friends, work friends, DH's work friends etc etc. It will be weird but good to have them partying together. Everyone will get along.

I have to get a cake for DH, get inserts for my new red pumps so the don't slip off my heel (I have a new dress and shoes to wear on Saturday! YAY), I've already been to the liquor store so I don't need booze, I need to get some munchies and some tacky b-day decorations. I'm so broke it's not even funny... but DH is turning a quarter century so I want him to have a good time.

I plan to get totally hammered and dance my ass off! I can't wait to blow off some steam.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Why must I wear all my emotions on my face?

I blush soooooooooooooooooooooooooo easily and very vibrantly. Even if I'm not really embarassed, my face says different. I'm a fairly confident person when it comes to public speaking, talking with my superiors etc. I don't get nervous, I don't worry about it, even for speeches and toasts (i.e. weddings and b-day parties) I don't have a plan, I don't pre-write anything, I just wing it because I'm confortable in front of crowds. But my face always, always, always looks like a tomato!!!!!!! THAT is embarassing, which in turn makes me go even redder. It's a viscious cycle.

When I am actually embarassed, which can happen fairly easily too (I'm pretty sensitive about certain things) I go so red that it looks like my head might explode. I even talked to my doctor about it because a couple people had said they were concerned about my blood pressure, but she checked and my blood pressure is perfectly normal. I dread the next thing that may embarass me because I can't just shrug it off. It's obvious to the world that I'm mortified and that makes it worse. People always feel the need to point it out too "look at you blush... blah blah blah" and it makes me want to punch someone. I feel like saying "oh really? I'm blushing? I couldn't FEEL the blood and heat rushing to my cheeks... so thanks for pointing that out to everyone".

When I get mad, my face and neck go red... it looks like my blood is literally boiling, which is why that's one of my favorite terms to use when I'm super pissed off. This I don't mind. I'm so fired up by that point anyway that I don't notice until later. It's just very obvious to those around me that they need to back off and give me a chance to recover.
When I get really super angry or overly frustrated I cry. This is especially lovely in a confrontation with a co-worker or boss when your trying deperately to get your point across and then you start to feel the tears well up and the lump form. It's not because I'm sad or that my feelings are hurt.... it's just the only way the emotion can get out. It makes me feel weak. When it comes to confrontation, I welcome it... enjoy sometimes if it means that progress can be made, so I hate appearing to be weak.

I wish so desperately that I could control these things because they make me feel totally stupid. Hopefully I will "grow out of it"... but I think it' actually getting worse!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Great... just what I needed.

So I'd like to thank the nesties who introduced me to Etsy. I've spent the entire morning searching local shops and could spend 100's right now.

So far I've found the following items that I am totally tempted to buy:

-countless purses/bags/ wallets
-a shawl
-a scarf
-leg warmers and fingerless gloves
-a number of pieces of art
-a make-up brush set
-throw pillows
-a dog bed and collar

and I'm BROKE! This is just what I needed... another temptation to spend $$! This is going to be trouble.