FML

Our roof is literally falling off of our house. We knew it would have to be replaced within a couple of years of buying and now that we’re in spring # 2, we’re starting to see shingles in the backyard. So, it’s time to have them replaced.

One problem- we’re broke. Like… totally broke. I have a very strict budget that we follow every month and when all the bills are paid, school savings put away, groceries purchased and there’s gas in the car we have $100 left over for incidentals/debt repayments if we’re lucky. I’m 7 days into this month’s budget with $66 leftover. Unfortunately, that doesn’t buy or even make payments on a roof and even if it did, I don’t want to eat up what miniscule incidental budget we have with another payment. What happens when we need the oil changed or a new furnace filter??

The only solution is for me to quit school and take on a second job. This will free up the money that I put aside every month for tuition, the extra money it costs in gas and parking to get down to school as well as whatever extra I make at the second job. That will pay for a roof pretty quickly. But now, I feel like this last school year has been a colossal waste of time and money that now has me $2500 more in debt for nothing plus all the money I paid into out outside of what I borrowed. More importantly though, I feel like a failure. People make this work all the time, and I can’t do it. It’s going to be totally embarrassing to have to tell everyone that I had to quit.

My plan right now is to finish this semester since next week is the final week of classes, and then start looking for a second job to start end of April when my exams are done. Hopefully I’ll have the money I need to do the roof by the fall… the windows are going to start needing replacing soon so I’ll probably keep the job to do that and/or pay off some debt (which we have a ton of).

I think I’ve decided that I should probably start looking for another full-time job as well. I don’t want to leave my current one, but I haven’t had a raise in 3 years and it doesn’t look like they’ll be starting to hand them out any time soon (wage freeze) so I have to make the change for myself. Cost of living increases, plus we’ve bought a house in that time, and I’m still on the same salary… it’s not good.

Where does my husband play into all of this you ask? That’s a whole other story. He works full-time but his job pays next to nothing (it might as well be minimum wage). I’ve been begging him to look for something else for about 5 years now, and if he didn’t want to get something else to at least consider taking on a part-time job. He says “ya ya ya” and is all in agreement but never acts on it. When I ask him about it lately, the response is “find me something”. Don’t get me wrong, he has picked up a lot of my slack at home since I returned to school (he makes my meals, does a lot of the cleaning, shovels/mows the lawn, does the garbage, does the laundry) but unfortunately, none of that brings in more money. I’d rather have to make my own meals than be sinking financially. Actually- when I think about it, he’s even getting lazy about some of that stuff now too. It’s starting to put a lot of strain on our relationship. I don’t know if he feels it yet, but I certainly do. I know it will be hard for him to find something else since we only have 1 car and I need it to get to work and school, but it can be done.

I know everyone is going to say to sit down and talk to him about it again, but I've been doing that for years, and more often as this winter is coming to an end because I knew the roof would have to be done, but  nothing ever happens.  I've had my hopes up several times when he says "yeah- you're right. I really need to find something else" and then nothing.  I'm done waiting. If I want it done, I just have to do it myself.  So here's me giving up what I want, to get what we need. Not good - I don't know if I'll be able to get over this.