I have reignited my love affair with food. This is not a good thing, but I can't help it. I cannot stop eating. I'm hungry basically all the time and I'm never satisfied. Even when I can feel myself getting physically full, I still want more. It's soooo bad. I'm terrified that I'm going to slip back to my old weight when I've worked so hard to get it off... I can't let that happen. What doesn't help is that I have no time or motivation to exercise. I miss running, I miss walking every night with Bub and the dogs.... I miss it. I just don't have time now.
And the holiday season sure doesn't help. We went to a Christmas party on Saturday.... and the food.... OH the food. Breads and dips, meatballs, cheese and cracker platters, mini quiches, sausage rolls, spring rolls, veggies and dip.... and the desserts! Oi Vey! Platters of cookies and squares and cakes etc. including two of my ultimate favorites (and weaknesses) no bake cherry cheesecake and nanimo bars. So, so, so good. Combine all of that with the alcohol and I probably exceeded my calorie limit for the week in the course of a few hours.
Sunday was not great either. Bub and I shared a large (yes... a LARGE) popcorn at the movies and then, after my super healthy dinner of salmon, brown rice, salad and turnip... I topped it off with TWO bowls of PC Candycane and Fudge Crackle ice cream. I couldn't help myself. It's delish and I can only get it this time of year.
I haven't weighed myself, and my clothes are all still too big... so that's a good sign, but it won't last for long. Why is it that its food that causes weight gain? Why can't it be something like smoking or swearing or.... not enough sex? Just something that would be easier to give up or do more of? I love food, I love to eat and I HATE that I feel guilty for every little thing that goes in my mouth.
The scariest part is... we're just getting started with the Christmas season. I'm sure there will be much more overeating to come.