Clearly I'm kidding. Although, with the amount of money this man makes, my husband may even encourage me to flirt a little!
So here's the story. Last night, I'm not in the door 5 minutes (my dog hadn't even settled down yet) when the phone rings. It's my BIL "R". I can immediately tell from his voice that something is wrong. He sounds panicked and out of breath and sort of like he's on the verge of tears. When I tell him my husband isn't home he says "ok, can you just talk to me for a minute? I think I'm having a heart attack". I don't panic right way and I know that sounds bad but you have to understand his history. To make a long story short, he's a cocaine addict. He's currently "recovering" but he's been in "recovery" (and in and out of jail) on and off for about 8 years, so you never really know with him. I don't panic because I've heard this all before and he does it to get attention. I think he has anxiety attacks which scare him and he overreacts. 15 + years of hard core drugs tend to make people slightly paranoid. So I talk him down, tell him to take deep breaths and that he's alright and then ask him where he is. He tells me he's DRIVING himself to the hospital. I tell him to pull over somwhere and I will come and get him, but he insists that I just meet him at the hospital. He thinks he's dying.
So, I call DH and work, tell him what's happening and then I'm jump in the car and drive over to the hospital. By the time I park and get in, R is already with the triage nurse because they don't screw around with chest pains so he moved to the front of the line. They put him in a wheel chair and ask me to wheel him in to the ER. His sister (my SIL "T", whom I harbor a borderline hatred for sometimes) arrives. Freaking out as usual because she's a drama queen and LOVE any excuse to cry "crisis in my life" and get attention. It was all my power not to punch her most of the night because this is not new, this happens all the time, we all have to learn to stop freaking out everytime R calls.
They do blood work, urine tests and x-rays and everything comes up clean... he's not having a heart attack, he's totally healthy. The doctor suggested that it was heartburn since R (and T) suffers from chronic acid reflux and is on medication for it. I was tempted to ask if there were any illegal drugs in his system, but then I thought "and if there are? what can you do about it? You haven't been able to stop it up to now". Both R and T will take the smallest excuse to go to the hospital, then call everyone in the family to rush to their bedside (normally I just ignore them). T has been in emerge 4 time in the last 6 weeks, twice because her period was really heavy! The docs and nurses are familiar with them. Grrrrr.
So, back to the cheating if it's worth it thing. This whole process takes 3 hours in emergency because once they realized he was fine, he dropped to the bottom of the emergency priority list. I'm sitting beside his bed, feeling pissed because my night is now screwed and R and T are now sitting talking and joking, clearly fine, and the most GORGEOUS doctor walks past the curtain and gives me this heart stopping sideways smile. I mean, this man was a perfect human specimen. Tall, dark, handsome, tanned, gorgeous white teeth, awesome 'messy in a good way" hair, great body, GREAT behind.... just basically beautiful. I was stunned at his perfection and couldn't help but saying to T "um.... did you just see Mr perfect doctor man walk by?" To which she giggled and said "yes, he's helped me a couple times". I immediately though of McSteamy and McDreamy from Greys and then realized that those names failed to do justice to this man, and I would have to come up with my own clever nick name for him until I found out who he really was. What was that clever nickname you ask "Mr Perfect Doctor Man"... okay, not my most creative, but I was stunned into momentary shock by his beauty!
I spent the next 2 hours "nonchelantly" staring at this gorgeous man as he went about saving lives. I was trying to come up with a way to "faint" as he walked by in hopes that he would catch me. I knew I was in trouble when I caught my self justifying cheating on my H because "his gorgeous, rich and saves babies... it would be worth it! Surly H would understand" So, I was definatly stary eyed over this man and I'm pretty sure he noticed too because when he came in at the end of the visit to discharge R, he winked at me! I just about hit the floor and my heart shot up to my mouth. Remember my post about my uncontrollable blushing?? Yeah, well I turned about 300 shades of red.
Needless to say it made the 3 hour wait with the two of my least favorite people in the world, MUCH more tolerable and dare I say, almost enjoyable?!? In my next life, I've decided going to be super shallow and marry for looks and money alone! Hopefully, this guy will be around in that same life!