Monday, May 25, 2009

Puppy Post-Partum

We got a new puppy this weekend. She’s a 10 week old Puggle (Beagle/Pug) American Bulldog cross. We’ve named her Jenny.

We’ve always said that as soon as we got a house, we’d get a second dog. So basically, we’ve been talking about it for almost 3 years and therefore this was by no means a spur of the moment decision. We moved into our home last September, but it took us this long to decide if we wanted another puppy or a rescue from the local shelter. We found a rescue last week, a 5 year old Husky-Sheppard X who was gorgeous and such a sweet lady. However, when I took H to see her on Saturday morning she was already adopted. Disappointed (because I was convinced we were going to get a dog that day) we went out to a place we’ve been watching for puppies, and sure enough, there’s Jenny. She is this teeny little black and white thing with the most adorable eyes and face and we decided that she was perfect. She will be about the same size as Lola (our current dog who is our BABY).

Things have been going just as expected. Sleepless nights, lots of crying, a couple of accidents in the house, lots of standing outside waiting for her to do her business. She’s getting along with Lola pretty well at this point which is good because I was really worried that Lola would feel put-out, which is the last thing I want because she is my heart-dog . Literally, this dog (Lola) is my soul-mate and best buddy. She’s with me or H whatever we do, wherever we go. She sleeps between us in the bed, sits between us on the couch, stands between us (as navigator) in the car, snuggles like you wouldn’t believe (it’s like she can’t get close enough) and is like our first child. Lola is fairly indifferent to Jenny, a couple of little moments of jealousy, mostly curious and doing ok. We’re going WAY overboard on the Lola attention to compensate so this probably helps. Jenny isn’t really interested in Lola yet.

However, and here’s where it gets weird, I’m having regrets about getting Jenny (and found out this morning that H is too). I can’t seem to bond with her. She’s absolutely adorable and very sweet, but it’s just not happening. This is very strange because I am a HUGE animal person, especially when it comes to dogs and I usually bond very quickly, but it’s just not happening. I’m taking care of her of course, and giving her attention and love, but I am so worried about Lola and her feelings that I can’t seem to see Jenny as our dog and a permanent fixture in the house. I keep telling Lola that she’s our baby and that Jenny is just our dog. It’s like having puppy post-partum. I ended up in tears in the living room yesterday thinking about how everything will change for Lola and for us and it made me so sad. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to go back in time and NOT buy Jenny. I can’t understand it; I should have been prepared for this. I’ve had lots of puppies before, this one is no different, so what’s my/our problem? And the bigger question is, what do I do about it?

It’s the little things that are bugging me. Like, Lola was my dog before H and I got married. She lived with me at home and therefore is partially my Mum’s dog (at heart) as well. So it works out perfect because if we ever have to go anywhere over night or if we’re having a lot of people over to the house, Lola goes for a visit with her “Ma” and loves it (so does my Mum who LOVES Lola). I don’t have to think about it, she just goes. This won’t happen with both of them because my Mum has her own dog and runs a business out of her home so 3 dogs would be too much. Or when we go to the cottage on weekends in the summer; my IL’s don’t like dogs, but have learned to tolerate and then eventually love Lola, but now I don’t think they’ll be cool with both dogs coming up. So that means what? We don’t go to the cottage?

The strange thing is, I thought about all of this before… but it didn’t bother me until now. It just seems like a huge chunk of our freedom (and Lola’s) has been taken away. I was aware that it would happen, puppies are a huge commitment/ responsibility, but now that’s its happening, I’m regretting it. I feel horrible… like I’ve made a stupid decision and it’s not Jenny’s fault, and I don’t know what to do.

I feel awful about the whole thing. Awful for Lola, for us and for Jenny. I guess we’ll wait it out and see what happens. Maybe we just need to give it some time?

I'd post a pic, but it doesn't seem appropriate to have that cute little face with this kind of post... so I'll post one if/when the post is happier.

No comments: