Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Baby fever has broken

... somewhat.

I went out with my best friend a couple of weekends ago to check out a new bar… and it was sooooo much fun. I think I realized that night and the following weekend at DH’s “Christmas” party, that I’m not ready to grow-up quite yet.
DH and I are happy at home, watching movies or reading but I’m getting cabin fever more and more often and I miss the days of getting dressed up and going out to have a good time with friends. I’m only 23, but I’ve been a lot older than my years for a long time, and I think I’m regretting it now… not taking advantage of “the fun years” while I could. I was very serious in college, working and going to school full-time and I was just exhausted all the time. I think that I just want to enjoy some time to myself before taking on something so huge and permanently life changing. It's fun to go out dancing and have a few too many drinks. It's a stress reliever and makes me feel totally carefree.

There are still definite “pangs” of baby fever at least a couple of times a day. I think about names, about sleepless nights, about the nursery, about being a mom and Bub being a Dad. We talk about it all the time, but I think what I need to realize is that we are very young, and therefore it’s not a case of now or never. Yes- we have been married for 2.5 years, and together for 8, and yes- it seems like the next logical step, but who says it has to be now or even in the next year? There’s no law against taking some time to enjoy being young and “responsibility free” , although home ownership and careers put somewhat of a damper on that. I think we can wait.

And what does “wait” mean? I don’t know and I don’t think I need to define it. Even if we wanted to , we wouldn’t TTC now because we have some stuff to do first, but maybe it means 6 months, maybe it means 2 years? Who knows… I think it just means “when we’re ready”.

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