Waiting

I started taking the anti-depressant about a week ago. I was informed that it would take at least 2 weeks to start feeling any improvement and 6-8 weeks to reach full effect, so I'm waiting. 

Last week was bad. Really bad. Especially near the end of the week. I had this awful pit in my stomach and barely dragged myself out of bed. The fears I have right now are so irrational, I feel like a fool. Although irrational is perhaps the wrong word. In any case, they are completely, 100%, TOTALLY out of my control, or anyone else's at this point, and I wish I could let them go just for that reason. There's no use in living under their black cloud when I can't ever do anything about them, no matter how bad they might be.  I just can't seem to move on. These thoughts are constantly in the back of my mind, hovering over me 24/7, like a bad dream that I can't wake up from. It's really wearing on me. 

Fingers crossed that these pills do what they are supposed to. If I'm taking them, they better work. That's all I can say. I'm so ready to start feeling better, I'm just not having any luck on my own, not matter how hard I try.