Going Dark

After sitting through my last statistics II lecture last night and coming up to my 2 final accounting lectures, it's heads down until the semester and exams are over in 2.5 weeks.  From here until Aug 5th, I'll be locked in my home office studying, with little time for much else (aside from, you know, my job). 

See you on the flip side. 

The List

So here it is... I'm already coming in to the home stretch of my summer semester.  Crazy, no?  It seriously feels like I just started, and yet it's quickly coming to an end... not that I'm complaining. In preparation for the end of semester I'm posting a list of things left to do over the next 4 weeks, aside from regular classes, purely for my own benefit.  It helps to get it down "on paper". 

Assignments and Tests

• Stats II quiz # 1 - chapters 8 and 9 (linear programming and sensitivity analysis)- June 28
• Practice questions for chapter 10 for tutor
• Stats II quiz # 2 - chapter 10 (transportation-) - July 5
• Practice questions for chapter 11 for tutor
• Stats II quiz # 3 - chapter 11(integer linear programming) - July 12
• Finish practice questions for chapter 12 for tutor
• Practice questions for chapter 9 for tutor
• Accounting Assignment - July 17
• Accounting Mid-Term # 2 - July 17
• Accounting Lab 7 - due July 29
• Accounting Lab 8 - due July 29
• Accounting Lab 9 - due July 29
• Accounting Lab 10- due July 29
• Accounting Lab 11 - due July 29

August Exams:

• Stats II Final- Aug 2nd
• Accounting Final- Aug 5th

And when all of that is behind me, I'll have four glorious school-free weeks (1 of which I've booked off of work as well) until fall semester begins and I'm back to three classes.  Better get to work.

Motivation

Sometimes, I need a little nudge in the right direction.  Last night while sitting in my Stats II class, I was getting more and more overwhelmed at the amount of information that seemed to be going right over my head.  I kept thinking that I'd never be able to catch on, and was beginning to panic about my mid-term next weekend.  I kept thinking, well there goes my rock solid GPA.  But then, at the end of class, my professor handed out our first assignments and I was shocked to see that I'd pulled off a 93%! I practically skipped out of the classroom.  They assignment wasn't worth much (6% of our mark I think), but it was enough to let me know that if I work really hard, I can get through this.

Then, this morning, my accounting professor posted the grades for our mid-term from this past weekend and I got....100 freaking percent! WHOA?!?!?!?!?! It was the last kick in the butt to let me know that I need to hit the books hard over the next 10ish days and get my arse ready for that mid-term next weekend to keep my marks where they are.  I can do it, I just have to find the discipline somewhere.  We shall see.

It's The Little Things

The further I get into my studies, the more I realize how much the little things in life really matter.  As badly as I wanted to return to school, and as badly as I want to finish and do well, returning to school full-time and keeping my full-time job means that I have very little time (or money) for anything else.  While I've made a promise to attempt to complain about it less, it doesn't stop me from noticing.

For the first two three years of our marriage, Bub and I had it made.  Both working Monday to Friday with few obligations, we were able to spend a lot of time together, take a lot of weekends away, talk long walks and eat dinner together every evening, go to the gym together every morning and spend a lot of time with friends and family.  As we approach our fifth anniversary, things couldn't be more different.  Bub is now on shift work with a constantly changing schedule, keeping him at work late into the night and on weekends. As for me, I'm constantly running between the office, class, the library for tutoring, and home to get caught up on assignments, studying or reading.  I usually have some appointment or another and there's a never ending list of errands to run.  Meals have become rushed, the house is neglected, the dogs don't get walked (they get loved, just not walked) and neither of us has set foot in the gym in well over a year.  And suddenly I'm dealing with very ticked off family and friends who don't like the fact that they rarely see us anymore (awesome... like it isn't hard enough to balance my time without being made to feel guilty about it).

Now I get that this probably sounds like it's one big complaint.... but I promise that's not my intention.  It's a simple statement of fact about the state of our lives at the moment.  I only bring it up because the the change in our schedules and in our lifestyle has really made me appreciate the little things in life that tend to bring me peace that are often taken for granted. 

I miss sitting out in the backyard, sharing a few beers and talking about everything or nothing until the it was too dark to see each other.  Now, we finish a quick meal and I head upstairs to my home office to work on some school related thing or another while Bub cleans-up.  I miss hopping in the car on Friday nights and heading to the cottage (we haven't been once yet this year, and likely won't get there until July).  Now, Bub heads off to work on Saturday mornings and I close myself in my office for the day.  I miss the impromptu solo drives I used to take in the country, windows rolled down, music turned up, where the drive home from my nephews baseball games, which should take about 15 minutes, took 2 hours for all the detours.  Now it seems when I leave one place, it's always a race to get to the next.  I miss having time to get my waxing done.  It seems now I have to plan it and book it weeks in advance to make sure I can fit it into my schedule.  I miss having a clean house and laundry.  This is probably the thing that bothers me the most.

I like to be busy, I really do, and honestly, I'm truly very thankful that I was able to return to school when so many people wouldn't be able to. To be idle for any long period of time makes me crazy....but I won't say that I don't often think about how nice it was to have the evenings and weekends to myself to do things that made me happy, just because.  I miss the simple things. I miss tea and toast on my back deck early on a Saturday morning before anyone else is awake.  I miss waking up every now and then with absolutely nothing on the agenda, knowing that they day is my own to do whatever I want.  Not having to check the clock every 5.  Like my buddy Charlie Sheen I now operate on one speed, and one speed only...GO!

I know I chose to enter this race, and I'm happy to be doing it... but I can't wait to hit the finish line so I might have just a little more time for the simple things again.

This post has no name

It’s been too long. I think a three week blog hiatus must be some kind of record. School really kicked my ass this semester, but I made it and it’s all over with for a little while. So here’s what’s been going on:

-I wrote final exam on Thursday night. It was the dreaded STATS exam and BOY WAS IT HARD!!! Actually, it was so much that it was hard as it was LONG. 900 people wrote the exam and 99% of us were still sitting there when it was over. Basically no one finished, so my Prof assured us that they would take that into consideration when they were marking them. I went in with an 85ish though so I have a little wiggle room and I’m not overly concerned. I did my best and worked my butt off and I’ll get what I get.

-Still no news back from UPEI about the additional credits from the missing transcript issue. I’m over it now. I’ve registered for summer classes at my current University and am just carrying on.

-I decided to cut down to 2 classes per semester, at least for the summer. This past semester was way too much and as the classes get more difficult, it will only become harder to balance my time.

-We had a great celebration for Bub’s birthday. We did Sushi with a group of friends and then had about 20 people at our place for drinks. It was a lot of laughs for sure. BUT… I fail as a wife because I didn’t take a single photo of the festivities.

-WE’RE GOING ON VACATION! We leave next Friday morning for CUBA!!!! We’re heading to the tiny island of Cayo Largo for 7 nights and I am soooooooo excited. We’ve never done the all inclusive thing before, so it should be fun. We have a catamaran tour, snorkeling, horse-back riding, scooter renting, swimming with the dolphins and lots of drinking and reading planned. Seriously… the beaches on this island are incredible. Look at this…..

Appropriately named“The Natural Swimming Pool”.

Can’t wait!

Other than that, I’m just trying to enjoy my three weeks of freedom from school (and 1 from work!). Bub’s working every day until our vacation so I plan to get a lot of reading and napping done.

Happy Hump Day!

Good thing I haven't booked our vacation yet....

I received an email from UPEI today notifying me that the reason I hadn't received any transfer credit from my original studies (right out of HS) is because they didn't ever receive the transcript from the college!!!!

So.... looks like PEI isn't 100% off the table yet.  I re-requested my transcript from Seneca (that I originally requested and was charged for on FEBRUARY FREAKIN' 15TH!!!) and emailed UPEI back to let them know it was coming.

Yeesh!  I'm  happy to know it's back on the table, but at the same time.... it's really frustrating.

Now I Know

The envelope I’ve been waiting for finally came. I’ve been accepted to the UPEI BBA program.  But…

We’re not going.

The transfer credit calculation was the deciding factor. Because it’s not an apples to apples transfer in terms of my major, I’d be losing a year’s worth of credits that I’ve already earned at my current school and from my previous studies. I knew this was a possibility when I applied given that the program I’m in and the program at UPEI are not identical. This means that I’d be studying 2.5 years with a full course load (5 or 6 per semester) in PEI as opposed to 2.5 years I have left with a partial class load(3 classes per semester) here. The difference? I can handle paying tuition on a part-time basis without going into debt because I can still work full-time. If I start studying 100% full-time, I’d be taking on more student loans because I wouldn’t be working. Thus, it’s just not practical. I was willing to do it for a year, but 2.5 would be a lot of debt that we don’t need, especially when I’ve already earned equivalent credit elsewhere. It’s pretty complicated, but in the end it boils down to this: it’s just not worth it for us at this point.

Am I disappointed? Yes. Do I wish it would have worked out? Absolutely. Is there a part of me that’s a little bit relieved? Definitely.

Not going eliminates the stress of having to deal with either selling or renting our house, it eliminates the cost of moving, the stress of trying to secure a home and employment across the country and it frees up the small stash of money we started saving for the move for other things that we need it for (a vacation, new shingles for the roof, etc). Don’t get me wrong, if it had worked out with my transfer credit, I’d be willing to handle all those things and I’d be really excited to do it, but there is that small part of me that’s breathing a sigh of relief.

I’m not going to lie, I’m really disappointed. We were really excited for the possibility of this adventure, for the change, but I know that everything happens for a reason. For now, I’m just going to concentrate on getting through my degree here and then we’ll see what happens. Maybe we’ll move out there when I’m ready to apply for grad school? Who knows… we may still invade the east yet!

Still waiting...

I'm still waiting to hear back from UPEI.  I got a letter form them last week asking for additional information (which I had already forwarded to them)... and I'm once again waiting for a reply.

I will admit though, that I don't have high hopes.  I think that the math credit that I don't officially have (I did an admissions waiver course at York in lieu of a 12U advanced functions math) will likely be my downfall as they may not recognize the credential that York awarded me.  My only hope on that front is that I've already completed and done well in 3 classes for which the 12U math is a prerequisite.  However, even if I get in the course requirements are so different that I may lose out credits that I've already earned.  I'm willing to lose a few, but I don't want to forfeit too many and be starting from scratch.

Ugh... I just wish I could get an answer. I know I'm being impatient and that it has only been a couple of weeks, but the wait is killing me.  I'm crossing my fingers that I get an answer this week (the website says it usually takes 1 week after all documents have been received) so that I can get a move on one way or the other in terms of moving or not, transferring jobs or not.... etc.

I need a drink.

Crunch Time

This post is solely for my own benefit, so please feel free to disregard. Actually, to tell the truth, this entire blog is for my own benefit- an outlet of sorts- but this post specifically is for me so I can wrap me head around what's expected of me over the next few weeks.

I'm in the home stretch of SemesterFromHell (hallelujah!) and have a lot going on.  It's probably time for me to break out the Microsoft calendar and task out what needs to be done, day by day.  But for now, here's what I have to complete for school over the next 4(ish) weeks.

• Complete discussion submission for marketing lecture 9 and submit by Friday (March 4)
• Edit parts 2 and 3 down to finalized form for marketing plan
• Marketing contributions assignment due Friday (March 4)
• Do some practice exercises for stats chapter 12 before tutor
• Marketing Lecture 10, reading and notes to be completed this weekend (March 5 & 6)
• Tentative- find a time on the weekend to meet w/ tutor to make-up for this weeks cancelled session (March 5 & 6) 
• Practice exercises for stats chapter 13 before Thursday March 10
• Submit discussion questions for marketing lecture 10 by Friday March 11
• Complete marketing project Part Four w/ group by Monday March 14
• Stats quiz # 2 on Tuesday March 15th
• Submit marketing lecture 11 discussion questions by Friday March 18
• Marketing final exam Saturday March 19th
• Complete marketing project Part Five w/ group by Monday March 21
• Stats assignment # 2 due on Tuesday March 22nd
• Finalize, submit and present Passage Analysis Paper for MODR by Monday March 28th
• Complete stats chapter 14,15 and 16 practice exercises before Thursday March 31
• Finalize and submit full marketing project w/ group by Monday April 4
• Stats final exam Thursday April 7

Eeek!!!!

Yep- definitely time to get the calendar out and break this down.  I sense a lot of late nights in my future. The one thing getting my through is that my final exam is April 7th, and summer classes (assuming that I will even be continuing at that school) don't start until the first week of May.  If I don't get into UPEI and we stay in Ontario, I'll have three blissful, school-free weeks in April to catch-up on all the sleep I'll miss over the next little while.  Can't wait!  I'm going to take lots of weekend naps.  Or maybe I'll sleep for 3 weeks straight! 

A waiting game

I'm just a big old ball of nerves and excitement lately.  Why, you ask?  I submitted my application to UPEI early last week and to say that I am anxious to hear back from them is the understatement of the year.

I know I have the marks to get in without a doubt.  I had honors in high school, graduated college the first time around with high honours and my lowest mark since returning to university is a B+.  My concern is more related to how many transfer credits they will give me (I don't want to lose out too badly) and whether or not my math credential course earned through my current school will be accepted by them as the math pre-req required for business programs.

I sent a whole package of detailed paperwork to them explaining my situation, I've requested all my transcripts be forwarded to the school and and waiting on pins and needles to hear back.  Everything is on hold (house hunting, job searches, etc.) until we hear back from school. If the transfer credits don't add up or the math credential course isn't accepted, we're not going anywhere.  I'm not setting myself back in school.  However, if everything works out then we can make decisions about the house and when to leave and Bub can inquire about getting a transfer out there.

For some reason we have our hearts set on PEI... so I didn't even apply anywhere else yet.  Not smart, I know.

The family is mostly supportive.  Both of our mothers and my Dad think it's a great idea. Interestingly enough it's my step-dad and Bub's Dad that are not keen on the idea.  This is interesting because both of them, at one point in their twenties, picked up and moved across the country themselves.  My step-dad asked my Mom to "talk us out of it" and my FIL just got grumpy when we told him. He literally got this disgusted look on his face and said  "why would you want to move there"... ummmmmm for the same reason that you moved out west in your twenties.  Because we can and because we will enjoy the adventure of living somewhere that provides a totally different lifestyle to what we have now.  I know it's going to be a battle with him and that he's going to fight us all the way.  As a bonus, he's totally passive aggressive so nothing will be straight forward... it will be all "you know it rains out there a lot right?" "you know that the housing market out there is not really as good as here right?"  blah blah blah... YES! Did you ever consider that I've been doing research like CRAZY? That maybe just because you're finding out about this for the first time doesn't mean that we haven't been looking in to this in detail for a long time?

Hello FIL, have we met?  I'm the super obsessive and uber cautious DIL that you often brag about?  Remember me?  Do you really think that we haven't been putting a TON of thought into this?

Regardless of anyone else's opinion, we're making this decision on our own.  We will definitely ask for feedback but ultimately no one will be able to talk us out of it.  It's frustrating to hear my FIL and step-dad talk about how wonderful it was to the live out west for a couple years, but then to have them react like this when we say we're going east.  It doesn't make much sense to me.

Anyways... my fingers are still crossed and my hopes are still high and really, no one can talk me down. I know this is the right decision for us.  If we put our work in and if it's meant to be, it will be...regardless of what anyone else thinks.

Now... I'm off to buy some Wellies for our big move.  ;)  What do we think...

traditional?

or something a little more funky?...

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

My stats professor is officially the fastest grader in the world.  We got our exams back in class last night. 

I knew I did ok when, as I collected my exam from her, she said "excellent work" as she handed my package to me.  I immediately breathed a huge sigh of relief.  BUT, that sigh of relief was nothing compared to what happened when I actually opened the exam and looked at the mark.....



86%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Could it be true!?!  Honestly, I had to choke back happy tears.  I never thought it was possible, but I guess I was wrong.  It was the ultimate validation of my decision from last semester.  Now I just have to hope that the second half of the course goes just as well.  *fingers crossed*

The right decision.

When I decided to drop my stats class last semester, I was really worried about whether or not I was making the right decisions.  I had a 60... I was passing. But for me, 6 is not an acceptable mark.  I agonized over whether or not to drop the class before I had a mark recorded and re-take it.  Eventually, I made the final decision and pulled myself out, but not without reservations.

Well, I'm back at it this semester with a few changes. Instead of taking it as my online class, I'm taking it in person and I hired myself a tutor who I meet with once per week.  MAN have I realized that I made the right decision.  I got an 85% on the first assignment (up 10% from last semester) and I got 80% on the first quiz (which we didn't have last time around).  But most important, I wrote the mid-term this past Saturday and WHAT A DIFFERENCE.  Last time I froze up. I left most of the exam blank, I was panicked and I bombed it.  This time around, I answered every question without exception, was confident through the whole thing and was the second person to finish (including re-checking my answers and calculations) with 45 minutes to spare.  No rushing, no panicking, no crying.... just relief and confidence when I left the exam.  I honestly think I did well on it.  I'm not going to say I did AWESOME, but I know that I'll be OK with the mark.

It's for this reason that I know that I made the right decision.  Now there's not so much pressure going into the second half of the course and I'll be much better prepared when I have to take Stats II within the next few semesters.   Honestly, I couldn't be happier that I made the decision I did.  I took a step back, took a few deep breaths and started again with a different approach, and boy was it worth it.  I still have a struggle to get through the last test, assignment and final exam, but atleast this time my mark at the mid-term won't be working against me.

An Adventure? Maybe.

Bub and I are at a turning point.  Not in our relationship with each other, but in our lives in general.  Lots of changes in both of our professional lives have caused us to take a step back and think about what we really want... and it has been eye opening.

We've owned our home for 2.5 years now and we love it.  We love it because it's the first house we bought together and because it's been home for so long now.  But, we've been tied to it since I returned to school.  Every decision we make has been based on the house and if we will be able to continue to afford it.  I know this is normal but it's really getting to me lately.  Career decisions, academic decisions..... everything revolves around the house and I realized recently that it really bothers me.



So.... we're moving.  And I mean MOVING.  Like across the country or overseas like we've always wanted to.  Or at least, that's the plan right now.  The fate of the house is yet to be determined.  Ideally, we'll keep it and rent it out because we do plan to return in a couple of years, but if we have to sell, then we will.  Owning is wonderful, but it's not everything and I don't want to miss out on life experiences just so I can say that I own a home. 

As of last night I am officially researching universities out East and in the UK.  And can I tell you... I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!  I've looked at The University of Prince Edward Island's and Dalhousie University's Bachelor of Business Administration programs and both look really good.  I'm leaning towards UPEI at the moment for a few reasons but it's still in the very early stages of research.  And for those who say that moving from Ontario to PEI wouldn't be a big change... I say you need to do your own research.  The two provinces couldn't be more different.  Next, I'll pick a few in the UK and then I'll submit mass applications.    Obviously, staying in Canada would be much easier for many reasons, but if we could make the UK work for a year or two, I'd be all over it.  Wherever we end up, I'd like to rent a little house, get Bub working full-time at some funky job (like a corner pub in England or something)and I'd tackle school full-time.  I just want to experience life in a different way for a little while.

If this is going to happen, it's going to happen quickly.  I'd be applying to start at the new school in September and taking the summer off of classes at my current school to pickup a 2nd job to save.  But honestly, I've never been more excited about anything.  I think this is a big opportunity for us to go and experience something totally different than what we're used to.  I'm hoping that it's meant to be and that fate will be on our side.    Fingers crossed.

Another one?

Well, since it's been almost 3 weeks since my last post I thought I should find some time to post... something. Here's just another mass update (I seem to do a lot of those lately):

School:
I'm starting week four of SemesterFromHell and so far, so good.  After class tomorrow I will have 4 stats classes, 1 quiz (on which I scored 80%!!),  and 1 assignment behind me- leaving only 7 classes, 1 quiz, 1 assignment and 2 exams left for that class.  I have a paper due next week in MODR which I have a good start on, and the ball is rolling with our marketing plan (although, I'm still really not looking forward to it). I'm still iffy on whether or not my stats tutor is going to be of much assistance, so we'll have to wait and see.  I do know that physically being in the classroom is a lot better than taking it online in this case.

Health:
I've really gotten back into working out and eating well again.  I gained some weight over the holidays so I knew it was time to get back on the wagon. 

The exercise bit has been pretty good this time around.  I've found a tiered, 3 level mixed cardio routine that I really like and that I can do it in my basement.  So, I've been doing that 4 times a week.  I'm 1 session away from stepping up to level 2 so we'll see how that goes later this week.  It's really nice to have something I can do at home since a) it's -1 billion out, so running is incredibly uncomfortable (and sometimes dangerous) and b) I can't afford a gym membership right now. 

I've even convinced Bub to get back to it as well, and he's now working out more than I am (with the exception of last week when he was sick as a dog).

In terms of my diet, I'm trying to stay under 1550 calories per day (with a minimum of 1200), really trying to cut out a lot pre-package/processed foods and trying to make sure that I'm eating a variety of foods from across the food groups.

Example menu:

Breakfast: 2 slices of sourdough toast w/ light margarine (a fave of mine), tea w/ milk
Snack 1: either raspberries (1/2 pint) or 1 banana
Lunch: spinach salad (baby spinach, low fat cheddar cheese, cucumbers, carrots, turkey w/ classic herb dressing)
Snack 2: veggie sticks and yogurt dip and/or banana
Dinner: whole wheat pasta w/ tomato and meat sauce and low fat cheese (extra lean GB, low sodium diced tomatoes, blue menu tomato sauce base)
Snack 3 : a couple of crackers, frozen yogurt

Tonight I have a turkey and sprout pita for dinner (school night) that's is really, really yummy and surprisingly low in calories.

I had a physical last week (my first in 4 years) which went well:

• I got a rec from the doctor for physio and massage therapy for my shoulder, but unfortunately, she gave me a rec for a location who's hours I can't fit into my schedule.  I'll have to go back and get a general requisition so I can find my own place to go.  I'm really looking forward to tackling this issue.
• She found a lump in my breast, but since I've had one before and it turned out to be nothing, she wasn't overly concerned.  I go back in 3 weeks to check it again and if it's still there then I'll be sent to the hospital for an ultra-sound and mammogram.  I'm not really concerned.
• I got my shots up-to-date and got a script for the HPV vaccine which I haven't filled yet because I'm unsure how I feel about it (it's really new so that makes me nervous)
• my weight and blood pressure are "excellent" according to the good doctor!!
• Everything else seemed fine

I'm also taking a multi-vitamin again and I'll be making an appointment with my dentist sometime this week.  I figure that with my crazy schedule, my body can use all the help it can get keeping me awake, energized and healthy, so that what I plan to do.

Life
My resolution to be more positive and not let things bother me is going pretty good. I'm trying my best to see the bright side of things and it's really made a difference.  I highly recommend it.

Our nephew Oscar turned 1 last weekend and we had a good time at his birthday party.  I can't believe a year has gone by already.



That's pretty much it! I've been working like crazy this month and other that Forget You which I read on New Years Day, I haven't even finished a book.  I have about 50 pages left of my current novel so hopefully by the end of the week I'll have a review to post and then it' on to Anna and the French Kiss I think.

Ok, now I'm back to work!

Semester 5 (aka: Semester from Hell)

I can't believe starting my fifth semester since returning to school.  Honestly, it feels like I just started and I can only hope that the remainder of my time in school goes just as quickly.

Here's the class line-up for this semester:

Monday nights: MODR- Reasoning in Women and Sexism (continues)
Tuesday nights: Quantitative Methods I (aka- stats I- again)
Online: Marketing I

I'm looking forward to marketing, and I love, love, love my MODR class... so why has this semester been dubbed "Semester from Hell"?  Well, simply because of the over-the-top workload. 

Stats *shiver*
-2 tests
-2 assignments
-mid-term
-final exam

MODR
-conceptual analysis paper
-another conceptual analysis paper
-in-class presentation

Marketing
-15 discussion board postings per class (so, per week)
-responses to fellow students discussion board postings
-2 assignments
-group marketing plan (HUGE assignment we work on all semester)
-final exam

Of course, this is all on-top of readings and lectures, plus a one hour per week stats tutoring session that I'm in the process of setting up today. Oh! and I work full-time.  Did I mention that?  And this is all going down in the next 12 weeks.



Pray for me.

I'm not complaining though.  Not yet anyways. I'm just stating the facts as I see them right now and I find it better to get it "on paper" so that I'm clear on what needs to be done.  And I have my new office at home to comfortably study/work on assignments and Bub is picking up a padded lap workstation for me today that includes a light, cup holder and pencil holder so that I can comfortably read and highlight textbooks in bed.  I've taken on a new outlook about school and I'm hoping it lasts.  I will work hard, but I won't let it run my life. I will be OK with whatever marks I get as long as I know that I did my best and I will take it one semester at a time.

So here I go... diving head first into another semester and counting down the weeks until this one is behind me too.

A Quitter...

...that's what I am.  Well, I'm sure it's how some people will see me.

I dropped the stats class.  Somehow, I managed to pass the exam, but I was not impressed with a 52% (bumped to a 57% since the Prof gave us all a free 5%).  I know I can do better, I just have to approach the class differently.

So, after almost 2 weeks of agonizing, talking to tutors, talking with the family and most importantly with Bub, I decided to drop the class and take it again next semester from scratch, even though it was against the advice of some of my family.

I'm taking a different approach this time around.  For one, I'm not taking it online.  Clearly for this class, I need to sit in front of my Professor to be able to ask questions as we go, and secondly, I'm getting a tutor to walk me through the class from week one.

I know this may seem like quitting to a lot of you, and I think some members of my family will be incredibly disappointed, but I have many reasons for dropping the class.  Anyone who's taken the class seems to understand exactly where I'm coming from. It's those who've never been there that don't get it and think I should just "push through and get the pass" to "get it over with".  But I don't want to just "get it over with".  I need to protect my GPA and I need to set myself up to actually learn something in this class and in the future.

Sure, I've now lost the time and money I spent on the class for this semester (which I HATE), but I think the other stuff outweighs it.

a) I can't afford to have my GPA drop drastically, especially while I'm waiting to have my degree change approved.  If the degree change doesn't get approved, I'm done because I can't continue in the program I'm in on a part-time basis.

b) I don't have the time, energy, money or brain power to meet with a tutor 2 or 3 times a week until the final exam on December 14th, which is what would be required in order to get back on track with hopes of just passing the exam

c) I don't understand the new material because I don't understand the old material.  The hole is just getting deeper and deeper the further we go.

d) I have to take Stats II.... so if I don't have a basic understanding of this stuff and just "get the pass" I'll struggle just as much, or more, with Stats II.

So.... I made the decision and dropped it. I think it's best for myself because I know that I can start from scratch and do better with a little more planning and a different approach.  I wish it had turned out differently, but now I know how this class is and I'll be more prepared the second time around.

Failure

The past 2 weeks have been absolutely crazy as far as school goes.  My accelerated class was winding down and is now officially done (I wrote the final on Saturday) and I am in mid-terms for my other classes.

I write my MODES test tonight and am not worried about it.  I really like the class and pulled of 93% on the last test so I think I'll be ok. 

I wrote my statistics exam last Saturday and boy did it S.U.C.K.  I spent hours and hours studying, crafting an effective reference sheet (we were allowed to take 1 page of formulas into the exam) and running through practice questions.  As hellish as it was, the studying went really well.  Too well actually.  In the days leading up to the exam, I mentioned to Bub a couple times that it was "too easy" and it was making me nervous.  Well... my gut was right. It was too easy. 

I arrived at the exam and the nerves hit me the a load of bricks.  I had major butterflies in my tummy, my palms were sweating and I'm sure a good wind would have caused a sandstorm in mouth it was so dry. I normally get a little nervous before exams, but this was beyond anything I'd experienced.

The first part of the test was multiple choice.  I got through the first 5ish questions pretty easily and my confidence started to increase..... but then reality set in.  My system for MC is to go through and answer all the questions I'm sure about first, leaving little ticks beside questions I'm not sure about so I can go back and think about them later.  By the time I reached the end of the section, I had more ticks than I did completed questions.  PANIC.  That's the only word to describe it.  I felt my face flush and my heart start to pound..... and I froze.  I gathered my wits enough to make some educated guesses (and even more random guesses) and then move onto the next part- the short-answer/problem questions. 

The first question was a breeze.  I answered all but 1 part (that I had never even heard of) and was feeling better thinking "okay- I'll make up the marks with the problems".   WRONG.  I answered question 1, maybe 1/4 of question 2 and questions 3-5?  Blank.  Yep.... blank.  I had no clue what I was doing. I didn't even know where to start with them.  I spent the last 45 minutes of the exam flipping between the questions and my references sheet desperately trying to see something that I hadn't yet seen.  I was waiting for the lightbulb to come on and it never did. Finally, with only 15 minutes left to write and feeling my blood pressure at a boiling point, I gathered my stuff and handed in what little I had completed, and left.

I felt defeated, shocked and ready to curl up in a little ball to cry for hours. I've never EVER done so poorly on an exam.... and I knew I had failed or come extremely close to it. However, as some may remember, we were hosting a Halloween Party that evening which had already started without me (pics and post to come later this week), so I had to suck it up and get home to help Bub.  I called him, told him that the exam went terribly and I didn't want to talk about it when I go home and then we went on with our plans as usual. 

I have to say, it really took the wind out of my sails for a couple of days.  I was so upset and disappointed with myself.  I was embarrassed and just really really sad.  I woke up Sunday morning clutching my stomach and thought many times of just giving up on school altogether.... because of one class.  Yeah... I'm a little hard on myself when it comes to school.  I realize now that that's not a solution and am becoming more at peace with it... but I still have a hard time thinking about how poorly I did after all my preparation.

My plan now is to wait and see what the mark is.  If I somehow pulled a passing grade out of my rear (which I'm 99.9% sure I didn't) I will pay a tutor, continue with the class, and just try to get it over with.  It's a mandatory class so I might as well push through.  If I didn't, I will be dropping the class to re-take at a later date.  I can't afford a) the pressure it would cause to bring a failing grade up to an acceptable level, and b) to have a grade from 1 class pull my average down the tubes while I'm still trying to have them approve my degree change.

So... I'm waiting it out.  On the plus side, my HR class is done, after tonight I will only have 1 more test for my MODES class this term (in December) and if I drop the stats class I won't have to worry about it..... which all means that I'd have 1 class per week with no assignments or tests to worry about until December and no exams during the exam period!  That does sound kind of tempting doesn't it?

What have I gotten myself into?

With this new accelerated class, I have 4 classes per week until the first week of November.  This doesn't sound too bad until I remember that I work full-time, own a home, have a husband and 2 dogs and friends and family whom I rarely see to begin with.

So... with all the readings, classes, assignments, tests and exams coming up over the next 6 weeks, I had to do something to organize myself and stay on track.  I created a calendar detailing what school related tasks needs to be done each day from now until the end of the semester.  Luckily, after my accelerated class ends the first week of November, it doesn't look too bad at all.... but until then, it's friggin' scary!  I literally have something to do every.single.day, and many days have more than one thing.  I've even broken it down to when to start studying for tests and which chapters to study which days.  I have even worked it out to include assigned readings for all of my classes, but usually by the end of the semester I have given up on that for the most part strictly due to the fact that a) it's the exact same content from the lectures because the professor is usually the author b) I don't actually absorb most of what I read because it's so dry.  You know... you finish the paragraph and have little clue as to what you just read?  Ya.  That's me with much of my school material.  However, I have good intentions this semester so we'll see.

Hopefully I can stick to this calendar.  I need to stick to this calendar or I will fall way behind and my schedule does not allow for playing catch-up.  Sometimes my OCD comes in handy.

Eeeeek!

Well.... to make a long story as short as possible, I've made quite a drastic change to my timetable.  I dropped my marketing class for this semester (Thursday lectures) because of a conflict with my schedule (it's all group work and presentations which would be horrific for me based on my distance from the campus as well as the fact that I work full-time.  I picked it up online for next semester and took an accelerated HR this semester online instead.  This means that the mid-term is in less than 3 weeks and the whole thing is wrapped up at the end of October, BUT..... I'll have to complete at least 2 lectures per week.  So... for the next 6-7 weeks I'll have to do 4 lectures per week after work.  It's gonna be crazy.

The nice part is that I now only have to drive down there once per week (Mondays) which saves a ton of $$ in gas and parking costs.  It also means that once I get through the initial craziness of the accelerated class, I'll only have to worry about 2 classes at the end of the term going into winter exams which will be nice.

I'm freaking out a little though.... because my registration just submitted for this class today, I can login to the website yet.  It may be the end of the week or the beginning of next week before I can... which is terrifying considering I'll have less than 2 weeks to do 1/2 of the course content and study for the exam.  YIKES!  I can do it though.  It's just going to be really rough and involve a lot of late nights.

Okay- you probably won't hear from me for the next little while (no book reviews, no random posts)... but I'll see you on the flip side!

As summer winds down...

It has certainly felt like fall lately.  We went from sticky blistering 40 degree days (that's 104 fahrenheit for all my lovely American friends) to relatively chilly 13-18 degree days almost overnight.  I can't say that I'm upset about it though.  I love the seasons and am ready for fall.  I wouldn't complain if summer hung around a little while longer.... but I'm not crying about the changing leaves either.  I love autumn for the crisp air, Thanksgiving, halloween and the gorgeous scenery.  It makes me think of yummy food and hiking and warm drinks.   I'm actually really looking forward to it.

photo credit: Huntsville Adventures

We had a good summer.  Around work and school we spent several weekends at the T-family cabin, we got to spend a week at the cottage with my Mum, we spent a weekend away for a beautiful wedding, we golfed, we swam we just hung-out.  It was crazy busy, but good. 

Since last year, fall also means back to school.  I've been off for 5 weeks since I wrote the final exam of my summer semester and it's been great.  It worked out as a fluke this summer that I got so much time, and I won't be getting it again so I really wanted to enjoy it.  I can't believe that time went by so quickly.  I am however looking forward to going back tonight (remind me that I said that in a couple of weeks okay?). 

What's in store for me this semester?

Mondays- Reasoning in Women and Sexism (my final gen-ed class!... but it goes all year)
Thursdays- Introduction to Marketing (apparently the prof is terrible, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt)
Online- Quantitative Methods I (yep... that's a fancy way of saying STATS ::shudder::)

I head to my first lecture tonight.  I'm anxious to get wrapped up at the office a little early today so I can make the hour drive down there as early as possible.  I have to go to the library (I'm borrowing one of my textbooks until the one I ordered from The Book Depository arrives), then the bookstore, then the registrars office to drop off some paperwork.  Of course... I have to make sure to leave enough time to get a tea and to find my class which is in a building I've never even heard of before (for reelz... I go to the 2nd largest University in Canada so the campus is friggin' MASSIVE and therefore this could take a while).  The fact that each place I need to go before class is on a different part of the campus coupled with the inevitable lines at the bookstore on the first day of classes means I'll need as much time as possible.  *fingers crossed*

We've got lots going on this fall too. We're in final preparations for SILs wedding (10.10.10).  It's in less than 4 weeks and our dresses, along with the fabric for the guys ties, have not yet arrived.  It's going to be a mad scramble to get alterations done.  We're also getting ready for another wedding ceremony this Saturday (we're skipping the dinner/reception) and then I'm heading out with my girls for a friends birthday.  The following weekend we're off to Niagara Falls with the family for Bub's grandmothers 80th b-day celebrations. Should be fun (but expensive).  And then of course there's Thanksgiving and Halloween (we're throwing our first big bash) in October.  *sigh*.... I have to fit assignments and readings for school in there too.

Because of this crazy schedule, I wanted to get a ton done this weekend and I DID! I got the whole house cleaned as usual, the backyard and yard waste cleaned-up, filled in under the playset so we're not battling weeds all the time, trimmed the trees hanging over the fence, weeded and turned dirt in the gardens (front and back), painted our new door frame and the kitchen window frame, washed the bedding, reformatted our desktop, installed new OS, got internet working again and installed all the updates it needed (all 123 of them),took pics off my camera and stored on the computer as well as burnt to cd, and organized the spare bedroom closet.  Oh! and Bub cleaned the garage as well!  I also went out with my Mom to get some plants.  I came home with 2 mums, a snowball bush and a hydrangea bush.  LOVE! Can't wait to get them planted.  All the while I had Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban on audio to keep my company.

On top of all that I had time to read a little, watch a movie, play nursemaid to my dog (who caught a bee in her mouth and ended up getting stung), take a couple of baths and have dinner at FIL's.  It was a very satisfying weekend. 

Still left to do:
-organize basement/under stairs
-sort donate/toss/recycle/sell and then do dump/hazardous waste, e-waste and goodwill runs, and post kijiji listings
-scrape and paint the rest of the window/door frames
-take annuals out of the garden and turn the dirt over 1 more time (and of course, when the leaves begin to fall we'll be raking like crazy)

Hopefully I'll have time to fit all this stuff in around work and school and all the other crazy plans we have.... but I'm determined to enjoy the season, hopefully get some hiking in not get overwhelmed like I did last fall.

What about everyone else? Are you ready for summer to be over or are you dreading the leaves changing?