Feeling a little pissy today....

....I'm trying really hard not to be, but it's just not working and the stabbiness is winning out. I'm feeling... betrayed, for lack of a better word, by someone who I thought was a good friend. I don't want to be mad at him, but I just am. I'd love to call him out on it but I can't for one reason or another, so I just have to sit and brood about it. I honestly don't know whether to cry or throw something.

The problem with days like today is that I have a hard time separating the thing that's bothering me from everything else. So, I'm short tempered and agitated with everyone who has the misfortune to get in my way. I know it's not fair, I know that it's childish, but I can't help it most of the time. When I'm in a mood, I'm in a mood and there's no coming out of it until I'm done being mad. Bub knows this well. My famous line is "I'm not finished being angry yet so leave me alone".  And when he's knows what's good for him, he does.

When I'm mad, I like to deal with things. I like to confront the issue, sort it out and move on. When I can't do that, my mind twists and turns (usually along with my stomach) and sends me to the point of complete distraction. That's what's happening today. I feel like I might BURST with the frustration.

So.... I just have to try to move past it and get through the day so I can go home and vent my frustrations to Bub (poor guy- he doesn’t know what he's in for). Until then, I’ll be a nervous ball of dirty looks, snarky comments and impatient gestures. Lucky co-workers!

Ugh.  It's going to be a long day.

Fall Update

I'm SUCH a slacker when it comes to posting pictures of events, so I'm going to do another ones of those fall update posts.

First, in September, we took off to Niagara Falls for the weekend to celebrate Bub's Gramma's 80th Birthday.  She'd had her big party for her 75th, so she wanted to do something different for her 80th and choose gambling in Niagara. 

It turned out to be a great weekend.  We were supposed to stop at a Becca Fitzpatrick signing on the way down, but Bub was suffering from a nasty headache that day so I let him sleep and drove right through to Niagara.  Well... almost.  I pulled off in Milton for a pee break and Bub happened to wake-up.  Headache pretty much gone, he requested that since we were in Milton we had to find "Halifx Donair"... a restaurant we had heard about on TV that apparently made donairs just like out east.  So, we took a drive down Main Street and low and behold, we found it.  So Bub got his donair and I got a chicken ceasar salad and we picnic'd in the car.

This picture was taken moments before the ORANGE sauce ended up in his lap and on my passenger seat.

Much of the T family was able to make it for the weekend, which included a big family dinner at the casino buffet on Saturday night.  It was a blast.  Unfortunately, I didn't get many pics.  Here's the one and only time my camera came out that weekend.

Bub'a Aunt and Uncle, myself and SMIL walked from the hotel to the liquor store for supplies... but we got thirsty on the way and stopped for a margarita!

We had a great time with the family, and then the cousins and their spouses went out drinking and dancing Saturday night at a little dive club!  Wish I would have taken some pics.  We had a great time.

I also treated myself while we were in Niagara..... I really couldn't afford it, but I LOVED it and it really was a GREAT deal thanks to a 20% off sale and the Coach outlet!

We immediately moved from birthday to wedding festivities for SIL.  Being part of the wedding party, along with Bub, meant I didn't capture any of my own pics... but I stole a few from FB to post here.

We're missing a bridesmaid here... but you wouldn't know it. 

Bub stood up for SIL on her side so really, he should be in this pic as well.  

Super uncomfortable dresses, but the colors were very pretty.  The day went ok, the weather was perfect and the wedding beautiful and a lot of fun. As much as I hate to say it, it was a relief to have it over with though because it took up a huge amount of time and money that I didn't really have. 

The bride and her million pound dress and train.

We definitely celebrated though... drinking and dancing the night away. 



Myself and my 3 nieces gettin' our groove on at the beginning of the night.

The weekend following the wedding meant we finally got some peace and quiet.... along with some down time.  So we took full advantage of it.  But not long after, I woke up to this....

This was taken from my bedroom window on Oct 22nd.

It didn't last of couse, but it definitely hit home that an Ontario winter was on the way. 

Preparations began for our Halloween Bash.  It was a TON of fun, despite having to miss the prep and beginnig of the party due to my stats exam.  Everyone had a good time, with lots of food, drinks, Rock Band (with an epic group rendition of WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE) and even some karaoke.

Here's a few pics from the night:

The food all ready to go.  Bub took a pic for me since I wasn't home to see this.  We even made candy apples!

Bub and BIL aka Wayne and Garth.  I hate this picture because it's so unflattering for MH but it's the only one I got of the two of them.

McSteamy and Little Grey! Love It!

Myself and bestie # 2. 

I'm really not wearing that bat on my head... it just looks like it. 

A Fallen Angel and Snooki! Caaabs are heeeeya!

SIL and Sammy in the worlds tightest Bam Bam costume.

Junior- Hippie Love

Some of the other crazies at the party.... ya... I don't really know what to say.

All in all, a fun night... but we're not sure we'll do it again. It was a lot of work and really expensive, but a blast.  We'll see.

So, we're now headed into the Christmas season! My favorite time of the year! Hopefully I'll be a little better with the camera this time around so I can document some memories for myself. 

Time to start counting the "sleeps til' Santa comes"!



A Quitter...

...that's what I am.  Well, I'm sure it's how some people will see me.

I dropped the stats class.  Somehow, I managed to pass the exam, but I was not impressed with a 52% (bumped to a 57% since the Prof gave us all a free 5%).  I know I can do better, I just have to approach the class differently.

So, after almost 2 weeks of agonizing, talking to tutors, talking with the family and most importantly with Bub, I decided to drop the class and take it again next semester from scratch, even though it was against the advice of some of my family.

I'm taking a different approach this time around.  For one, I'm not taking it online.  Clearly for this class, I need to sit in front of my Professor to be able to ask questions as we go, and secondly, I'm getting a tutor to walk me through the class from week one.

I know this may seem like quitting to a lot of you, and I think some members of my family will be incredibly disappointed, but I have many reasons for dropping the class.  Anyone who's taken the class seems to understand exactly where I'm coming from. It's those who've never been there that don't get it and think I should just "push through and get the pass" to "get it over with".  But I don't want to just "get it over with".  I need to protect my GPA and I need to set myself up to actually learn something in this class and in the future.

Sure, I've now lost the time and money I spent on the class for this semester (which I HATE), but I think the other stuff outweighs it.

a) I can't afford to have my GPA drop drastically, especially while I'm waiting to have my degree change approved.  If the degree change doesn't get approved, I'm done because I can't continue in the program I'm in on a part-time basis.

b) I don't have the time, energy, money or brain power to meet with a tutor 2 or 3 times a week until the final exam on December 14th, which is what would be required in order to get back on track with hopes of just passing the exam

c) I don't understand the new material because I don't understand the old material.  The hole is just getting deeper and deeper the further we go.

d) I have to take Stats II.... so if I don't have a basic understanding of this stuff and just "get the pass" I'll struggle just as much, or more, with Stats II.

So.... I made the decision and dropped it. I think it's best for myself because I know that I can start from scratch and do better with a little more planning and a different approach.  I wish it had turned out differently, but now I know how this class is and I'll be more prepared the second time around.

Failure

The past 2 weeks have been absolutely crazy as far as school goes.  My accelerated class was winding down and is now officially done (I wrote the final on Saturday) and I am in mid-terms for my other classes.

I write my MODES test tonight and am not worried about it.  I really like the class and pulled of 93% on the last test so I think I'll be ok. 

I wrote my statistics exam last Saturday and boy did it S.U.C.K.  I spent hours and hours studying, crafting an effective reference sheet (we were allowed to take 1 page of formulas into the exam) and running through practice questions.  As hellish as it was, the studying went really well.  Too well actually.  In the days leading up to the exam, I mentioned to Bub a couple times that it was "too easy" and it was making me nervous.  Well... my gut was right. It was too easy. 

I arrived at the exam and the nerves hit me the a load of bricks.  I had major butterflies in my tummy, my palms were sweating and I'm sure a good wind would have caused a sandstorm in mouth it was so dry. I normally get a little nervous before exams, but this was beyond anything I'd experienced.

The first part of the test was multiple choice.  I got through the first 5ish questions pretty easily and my confidence started to increase..... but then reality set in.  My system for MC is to go through and answer all the questions I'm sure about first, leaving little ticks beside questions I'm not sure about so I can go back and think about them later.  By the time I reached the end of the section, I had more ticks than I did completed questions.  PANIC.  That's the only word to describe it.  I felt my face flush and my heart start to pound..... and I froze.  I gathered my wits enough to make some educated guesses (and even more random guesses) and then move onto the next part- the short-answer/problem questions. 

The first question was a breeze.  I answered all but 1 part (that I had never even heard of) and was feeling better thinking "okay- I'll make up the marks with the problems".   WRONG.  I answered question 1, maybe 1/4 of question 2 and questions 3-5?  Blank.  Yep.... blank.  I had no clue what I was doing. I didn't even know where to start with them.  I spent the last 45 minutes of the exam flipping between the questions and my references sheet desperately trying to see something that I hadn't yet seen.  I was waiting for the lightbulb to come on and it never did. Finally, with only 15 minutes left to write and feeling my blood pressure at a boiling point, I gathered my stuff and handed in what little I had completed, and left.

I felt defeated, shocked and ready to curl up in a little ball to cry for hours. I've never EVER done so poorly on an exam.... and I knew I had failed or come extremely close to it. However, as some may remember, we were hosting a Halloween Party that evening which had already started without me (pics and post to come later this week), so I had to suck it up and get home to help Bub.  I called him, told him that the exam went terribly and I didn't want to talk about it when I go home and then we went on with our plans as usual. 

I have to say, it really took the wind out of my sails for a couple of days.  I was so upset and disappointed with myself.  I was embarrassed and just really really sad.  I woke up Sunday morning clutching my stomach and thought many times of just giving up on school altogether.... because of one class.  Yeah... I'm a little hard on myself when it comes to school.  I realize now that that's not a solution and am becoming more at peace with it... but I still have a hard time thinking about how poorly I did after all my preparation.

My plan now is to wait and see what the mark is.  If I somehow pulled a passing grade out of my rear (which I'm 99.9% sure I didn't) I will pay a tutor, continue with the class, and just try to get it over with.  It's a mandatory class so I might as well push through.  If I didn't, I will be dropping the class to re-take at a later date.  I can't afford a) the pressure it would cause to bring a failing grade up to an acceptable level, and b) to have a grade from 1 class pull my average down the tubes while I'm still trying to have them approve my degree change.

So... I'm waiting it out.  On the plus side, my HR class is done, after tonight I will only have 1 more test for my MODES class this term (in December) and if I drop the stats class I won't have to worry about it..... which all means that I'd have 1 class per week with no assignments or tests to worry about until December and no exams during the exam period!  That does sound kind of tempting doesn't it?

I'm still (albeit barely) alive!

I'm such a slacker lately when it comes to my blog.  Unfortunately, due to my accelerated class coming to an end (and therefore approaching the final exam) and mid-terms for my other classes, I'm swamped (even that's an understatement).  We've had a crazy busy fall too with my SILs wedding, Bub's grandmothers 80th birthday trip etc etc etc..... I do plan to do a big catch-up post with pictures (or lack thereof) ASAP, but it's probably going to have to wait until after Nov 6th when I write the final for my HR class.  I get a few weeks reprieve at that point to gear up for finals in December.  I'm going to try to post some pics of the Halloween party we're hosting on Saturday... to which I will be late due to a 6pm exam... but I'm not making any promises.

In the meantime... since I don't even have  a new book review to post (I've read a grand total of 1 book for October), I though I'd leave you with a few links to some stuff I've found interesting/funny/exciting/cute lately:

John Green Making Adorable Music  - Um... ya. I want a band worth of these immediately.

You May Now Kiss... Yourself. - strange? yes.  But in an odd way, kinda cool.

Advice from 10 Canadian Women in Power

For the gadget geek in me: 100 Greatest Gadgets of All Time