Motivation

Sometimes, I need a little nudge in the right direction.  Last night while sitting in my Stats II class, I was getting more and more overwhelmed at the amount of information that seemed to be going right over my head.  I kept thinking that I'd never be able to catch on, and was beginning to panic about my mid-term next weekend.  I kept thinking, well there goes my rock solid GPA.  But then, at the end of class, my professor handed out our first assignments and I was shocked to see that I'd pulled off a 93%! I practically skipped out of the classroom.  They assignment wasn't worth much (6% of our mark I think), but it was enough to let me know that if I work really hard, I can get through this.

Then, this morning, my accounting professor posted the grades for our mid-term from this past weekend and I got....100 freaking percent! WHOA?!?!?!?!?! It was the last kick in the butt to let me know that I need to hit the books hard over the next 10ish days and get my arse ready for that mid-term next weekend to keep my marks where they are.  I can do it, I just have to find the discipline somewhere.  We shall see.

It's The Little Things

The further I get into my studies, the more I realize how much the little things in life really matter.  As badly as I wanted to return to school, and as badly as I want to finish and do well, returning to school full-time and keeping my full-time job means that I have very little time (or money) for anything else.  While I've made a promise to attempt to complain about it less, it doesn't stop me from noticing.

For the first two three years of our marriage, Bub and I had it made.  Both working Monday to Friday with few obligations, we were able to spend a lot of time together, take a lot of weekends away, talk long walks and eat dinner together every evening, go to the gym together every morning and spend a lot of time with friends and family.  As we approach our fifth anniversary, things couldn't be more different.  Bub is now on shift work with a constantly changing schedule, keeping him at work late into the night and on weekends. As for me, I'm constantly running between the office, class, the library for tutoring, and home to get caught up on assignments, studying or reading.  I usually have some appointment or another and there's a never ending list of errands to run.  Meals have become rushed, the house is neglected, the dogs don't get walked (they get loved, just not walked) and neither of us has set foot in the gym in well over a year.  And suddenly I'm dealing with very ticked off family and friends who don't like the fact that they rarely see us anymore (awesome... like it isn't hard enough to balance my time without being made to feel guilty about it).

Now I get that this probably sounds like it's one big complaint.... but I promise that's not my intention.  It's a simple statement of fact about the state of our lives at the moment.  I only bring it up because the the change in our schedules and in our lifestyle has really made me appreciate the little things in life that tend to bring me peace that are often taken for granted. 

I miss sitting out in the backyard, sharing a few beers and talking about everything or nothing until the it was too dark to see each other.  Now, we finish a quick meal and I head upstairs to my home office to work on some school related thing or another while Bub cleans-up.  I miss hopping in the car on Friday nights and heading to the cottage (we haven't been once yet this year, and likely won't get there until July).  Now, Bub heads off to work on Saturday mornings and I close myself in my office for the day.  I miss the impromptu solo drives I used to take in the country, windows rolled down, music turned up, where the drive home from my nephews baseball games, which should take about 15 minutes, took 2 hours for all the detours.  Now it seems when I leave one place, it's always a race to get to the next.  I miss having time to get my waxing done.  It seems now I have to plan it and book it weeks in advance to make sure I can fit it into my schedule.  I miss having a clean house and laundry.  This is probably the thing that bothers me the most.

I like to be busy, I really do, and honestly, I'm truly very thankful that I was able to return to school when so many people wouldn't be able to. To be idle for any long period of time makes me crazy....but I won't say that I don't often think about how nice it was to have the evenings and weekends to myself to do things that made me happy, just because.  I miss the simple things. I miss tea and toast on my back deck early on a Saturday morning before anyone else is awake.  I miss waking up every now and then with absolutely nothing on the agenda, knowing that they day is my own to do whatever I want.  Not having to check the clock every 5.  Like my buddy Charlie Sheen I now operate on one speed, and one speed only...GO!

I know I chose to enter this race, and I'm happy to be doing it... but I can't wait to hit the finish line so I might have just a little more time for the simple things again.

Divergent by Veronica Roth

What a great book! Divergent is one of those great first novels that really keeps you guessing and on the edge of your seat right to the end... and desperate for the next in the series.

My love of dystopian books is no secret, and this one didn't disappoint at all. I found the story to be unique, engaging, definitely exciting, and I can't wait to continue with the series (why oh WHY did I read this so early... now I have to wait a year for the next one). I thought the story was really able to set itself apart from other dystopian tales making its characters and setting stand out. I found the world Roth created to be totally unique and yet almost believable with references to real world landmarks from Chicago. I loved how she mixed those into to remind the reader of where they were.

I have to say that I would totally be Dauntless if I lived in this dystopian Chicago. Jumping off of buildings, epic games of nighttime capture the flag? YES PLEASE! I'd love to be thrown into the fear simulations as well. I think it would be interesting to know what my greatest fears are and then to learn how to face them.

The characters in this book we absolutely fantastic. Tris was pretty kick-ass, but I love that she had a vulnerable side to go along with her toughness. I loved the hate characters like Eric and Peter and was really conflicted about Al. And Four.... mmmm, yes please again!. He is such an awesome character with a lot of depth and texture. Loved him.

I really appreciate authors who aren't afraid to "go there" with their characters and with their story lines. Those who don't necessarily tie everything up in a bow by the end...and Veronica Roth definitely one of those authors. She took some risks and threw some curve balls and they totally worked. The book wouldn't have been the same without them.

What I found most interesting as I read through this was that the plot didn't really "go" anywhere for the first 375 pages of the book, and yet I couldn't tear myself away from it. I was so engaged with the story and the characters that the "where is this going" question didn't really come-up. But then BAM.... the excitement tripled and I read the last pages in one super fast gulp. I love that I have very little idea of what will happen in the next installments and that the reader is left to speculate.

In-all, one of my favorite reads of 2011 so far.

The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan

I decided to finally read The Forest of Hands and Teeth when I found a PB copy at my favorite used book store. I had heard very mixed reviews about it so I was apprehensive, but I wanted to read something different, something out of my comfort zone, and boy did I get that with this book.
The premise of this book really freaked me out. Not that I'm a stranger to post-apocalyptic tales (although this was my first zombie apocalypse story), but The Forest of Hands and Teeth is written in a way that really got to me. Not in a bump in the night kind of way, not in a "oh my god the zombies are going to eat my brains" kind of way, but in a "what would you do if the world as you knew it ended and you were one of what could be the last 6 people on earth". Does that make sense? I think it was the fact that they really didn't know what was out there that freaked me out. It's the same reason that the idea of space (as in outer-space) scares me to this day... the major unknown factor is super creepy and it's makes me very uncomfortable. Ryan skillfully crafted a story about desperate isolation in a giant and strange world. Creepy.

There's definitely a lot of excitement in this book. Although it starts out slow, the adventure begins rather suddenly and is spread through the rest of the story. It's not exactly "scary" but man, the unconsecrated are gross. There's no cheese factor to these zombies.... they are just plain nasty, and the world Ryan creates where life is constantly surrounded by death is just a little terrifying.

Along with the adventure and suspense comes a lot of really intense writing about personal emotion, life, love, sacrifice and really, the reason for existence. It's a very interesting combination of themes and somewhat surprising in a YA novel.

When I finished last night my husband asked me if I had enjoyed the book. My response, after thinking for a few moments was, "yes! definitely. But I never want to read it again and I won't read the next books". It's one of those stories that I'm glad I read, but it just made me too uncomfortable to want to revisit.

Dystopian Tour 2011- Veronica Roth and Lauren Oliver Signing

Last night I got the extremely rare opportunity to attend a book signing at my local Chapters with YA authors Lauren Oliver (author of Before I Fall and Delirium) and Veronica Roth (author of Divergent).  To say that I was excited would be a gross understatement. First, a dystopian tour?  Yes please! Can't get enough! Second, we get very few authors in my little hometown and even in Toronto, the list of author signings that I actually care about is rather small.  So, when my fellow book nerd and friend Jessica sent me a tweet with the signing details, I was pumped.

It was very cool to listen to the author's talk about inspiration, influences, and the business.  I found out some cool tidbits like, did you know that Lauren wrote Before I Fall on her Blackberry?  Yeah.  Seriously.  She wrote it on the NYC subway while commuting between her full-time job, part-time job and full-time grad school and emailed it to herself each night.  Now that's dedication to your craft. 

I had some questions I was burning to ask (like if and how they've had to deal with YA nay-sayers and why they think YA lit has exploded the way it has, especially with adults) but I was too chicken.  I was also completely awkward when I went up to have my books signed.  I didn't have the nerve to ask for a picture and, although I wanted to say something incredibly intelligent and witty, I couldn't think of a single thing to say beyond "hi" and "thanks".  It was pathetic actually.  Lauren did tease my husband a little about being dragged along to a book signing, but other than giggling at that and giving the standard greetings... I said nothin'.  Totally forgettable. *sigh*  I'm such a loser.

In the end, I got three beautiful new signed hardcover books that I can't wait to read, and got to meet two very cool YA authors.  All in all, a great night for a book nerd! 

Delirium and Before I Fall signed by Lauren Oliver

Divergent signed by Veronica Roth

I also got a swag bag filled with Delirium and Divergent related trinkets and other assorted junk. I LOVE free stuff!



Heaven and Earth (Three Sisters Island Trilogy, book # 2)

After really enjoying Dance Upon Air, I was excited to dive back into the World of Three Sisters Island and the lives of its characters. Even though I had just finished Nell and Zack's story, I was excited to see how Ripley's part played out, because she had been such an independent and spirited character in the first installment.

When the story started, I was hooked immediately. Geeky and clumsy Mac had me intrigued from the beginning and I loved him right through the entire book. I think he was the perfect, calming, rational yin to Ripley's yang.

I have to say that my enjoyment of the book faltered in the later chapters due to Ripley. My patience for her attitude and arrogance started to wear thin and she really began to annoy me. Her back and forth feelings about her powers started to get old. I hope that in the next installment, she's a little more at peace with them.

My only other wish for the book is that we got a little more of that small-town, cutesy island feel. I really adore the setting and would like to read more about it.... have it remain an integral part of the book.

But at the end I can say that I truly did enjoy the book, even if not quite as much as the first, and I am excited to finally hear Mia's story. In my opinion, it has the potential to be the best of them all.

Heirlooms

I celebrated Mother's Day with my Mom at her house over brunch.  My Step-Dad did the cooking, I did the cleaning and Mum just relaxed.   I had picked up a Zero Gravity Chair as her gift after years of listening to my Mum talk about getting one (seriously, if you don't have one, you need one), so we had a really nice time sitting in the backyard chatting on what turned out to be a gorgeous day.

Part way through the morning, my Mum hands me a tiny little ring and asks me if I would wear it with my wedding set. I tried it on and when the platinum band fit nicely under my rings, I agreed.  Then she proceeded to tell me that it's  my great-grandmother's wedding band and it's over 75 years old.  So now of course, I had to take a better look at it.  You can see that there used to be some kind of engraving on the band that's now worn off.... but it's still absolutely beautiful. 

Mum had me promise to wear it.  She said it was too big for her and she was afraid to have it sized give it's age and delicacy... but that she didn't want it to sit in a box anymore.  It's too big for me as well, but tucked under my wedding set, it's in no danger.

I've spent a lot of time staring at the ring, trying to imagine the history of my family that it's seen.  Did they buy it together as a young couple anticipating their wedding?  Was it on Gram's finger when my grandmother was born or got married? Did it accompany her to the funeral of my great-grandfather?  How long did she wear it after he passed?   How many birthday parties, weddings, Christenings and funerals of my relatives did it attend?  I know it sounds cheesy, but this ring represents the love that is responsible for my family.  It's responsible for my grandmother, then my Mum, and subsequently... me.  The idea of that fascinates me.

So now I'm wearing three rings on the ring finger and I'm excited to have a little piece of my family's history with me everyday.